Newt Gingrich promises to build a moon colony by 2020; make it a U.S. state

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Newt Gingrich Cracks Himself Up

Newt Gingrich Cracks Himself Up

When I first read that headline I thought it had to come from the Onion. I thought the Republicans were all about bringing down spending, and reducing the deficit, blah blah blah. Because… you know… Building a MOON COLONY in 8 years then shipping 13,000 Americans there and declaring THE MOON A NEW U.S. STATE would totally not increase our deficit. Yes. Let’s do that in the next 8 years rather than say put a little bit of money back into education so my daughter’s school doesn’t have to fire their librarian.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/technology-blog/newt-gingrich-promises-build-moon-colony-2020-u-211103078.html

Morons.

THIS IS NOT A STAR WARS SEX PORN SITE

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Analytics are funny. So a while back (September of 2010) I wrote a blog..

http://noblesword.com/showy/movie-reviews/looks-like-theyve-found-the-twilek/

It was about how scientists had found another planet and it was tidally locked like the planet Ryloth home of the Twi’lek’s in Star Wars. So I went and did a search for an image of a twilek and put one up (a clean one of Bib Fortuna) and then said…

“Also btw, finding a picture of a Twi’lek makes me realize how much Twi’lek porn there is on the internet. There’s apparently even a Twi’lek sex doll.”

And now… My top keyword…

“twi’lek porn”

Also in the top 10?

“twi lek porn”

“twi lek sex doll”

“twi’lek sex”

Shit the Internet is creepy. (By the way most of those searches came from Red States like Texas…The most popular searches from New York State are for a post I did on maps.)

Seriously though I googled it… If you google “twilek sex doll” my site is the number one fucking result.

Seriously, how does that happen. And with this post, it’ll just get worse. Ah well. I should just embrace it.

Who wants to buy a Twi’lek sex doll?

Twi'lek Sex Doll

Pervs…

 

Dungeons and Dragons Wednesday… But… Wait.. NO?

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My semi-regular D&D group is off today. Our Wizard Giusseppe’s player had to wake up early to drive his wife to catch a Megabus, so we’re off.

But we’re deep in the Pyramid of Power… And have been there for a long time. I think I’m going to cut out a whole level of the pyramid and get things cranking along so do something more interesting. I like D&D modules but when you don’t play every week they can take forever to get through.

Though I’d say the old 3rd edition Eberron ones were actually pretty damn good. i’d play those again. The adventure level in those was pretty great. I liked the adventure feel rather than the dungeon crawly aspect of this module.

Blue Earth Photo 2012

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Hi Res photo of Earth 2012

Blue Earth 2012

Nasa released a great photo today.

The picture of earth that the Apollo astronauts took in 1972(?) is probably one of the most famous and iconic images taken from space. This one won’t replace that, but man is it nice to look at. A Hi Res image of earth taken from the Suomi NPP Earth observing satellite.

Oh but yeah. It’s a cheat. It’s not actually a single shot. It’s a composite image from a number of swaths of the Earth’s surface taken on January 4th, 2012.

You still have hope Flat Earthers!

Higher rez photos at the link above.

Navy joins Big East

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Navy Football - Kyle Eckel

Navy Football

Too little too late?

I’ll probably write less and less about the Big East, particularly once Pitt leaves for the ACC , whenever that happens, but right now we’re still in there, and I have to say. Too bad people couldn’t wrap their heads around expansion in time.

Oh I’m not even talking about Navy. I’m talking about the Eastern Sports Conference.

Dreams of a league with Boston College, Syracuse, Temple, Penn State, Pittsburgh, West Virginia, Virginia Tech, Miami, heck through Navy in there. Maybe even Maryland.

I look at that and the thing that strikes me is that other than Temple, PSU and WVU (and Navy) they’re all in the ACC. The rest are all in different leagues come next year. So it makes the most sense for Pitt to go to the ACC. At least they get to play Boston College, Syracuse, Virginia Tech, and Miami…

But what about the Big East?

You know if Pitt wasn’t leaving and this was a straight up expansion I’d like it. I like Navy. It’s got good history. Sure they’re not a BCS powerhouse, but they’re Navy. They’ve got tradition, and regardless of what espn comments trolls would like to believe “Tradition” means alot. Really I’d say that you can gauge programs on 1) Recent success, 2) tradition, and 3) money (ie market)

A team with all those is going to be big and well respected in the country. Like a Wisconsin, Alabama, or Oklahoma. They’re the top tier teams.

Pitt has tradition, no recent success, and money is maybe 3 out of 5. Decent, but it’s not raking it in let’s be honest. Syracuse is the same. Maybe 2 out of 5 in the money department.

Navy? same boat really.

At least they have tradition.

What does Boise State have? Recent Success. Tradition? Hardly. Market? It’s Boise. And no they don’t draw nationally. Plus who can actually stand watching those games on the blue turf? It hurts my eyes.

UCF? Decent market, no real tradition, no real recent success.

SMU? Great market (not that they actually pull much from it though), mixed tradition (alot of history, but some of it remarkably bad), no real recent success.

Houston? Great market, again they don’t necessarily pull hard from it, no real tradition history. Success this year, but that’s about it.

San Diego State? Decent market, no tradition, no success.

What am I missing here?

Meanwhile the ACC teams are laden with tradition, good and decent markets, and some recent mixed success (granted with a blowout loss to WVU in the Orange Bowl).

I dunno. If Pitt was still in the big east It’d feel awkward. It just feels like it’s become a traditionless conference purely about maximizing markets. I’ve written about it how it’s all about the money now, and man… The Big East went for it… And honestly, I think it’s proving to me even more how bad it is. So that brings me back to Pitt. I’m glad they moved. Bring on the ACC.

 

2012 Summer Movies That I Must See Before I Die

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Every year it seems like there are some movies on the horizon that I absolutely must see, and I always think “crap it would suck if I died before I got to see…” and then name the movie. This summer there promises to be quite a few. Here are the top movies that are coming out this year that I absolutely must positively stay alive to see…

Friday, May 4th

The Avengers

Marvel Comic's The Avengers

Marvel Comic's The Avengers. I hope The Vision is in The Avengers 2...

Ok so, I’m a Marvel geek, and this movie is just absolutely positively one I must see before I die. FOR YEARS I’ve hated how the studios have handled superheros. Both DC and Marvel heros have been just totally beaten to shit. Even the ones people liked. They were warped twisted versions from the comics, and even when they weren’t… They were isolated from each other. No crossovers of Superman or Batman? It was all origin stories, and too many villains and not enough crossovers.

Then Marvel got a hold of their properties (other than Fantastic Four, X-Men, and Spider-man) and said “ok we’re gonna do it right” and by gum so far I’m loving it. Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk (the second one), Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America… All leading up to the team up of team ups. The Avengers. It’s just a gold mine of geeky fun. Plus it’s got Colby Smulders (awesome name) from How I Met Your Mother as a particularly background rich shield agent. Oh and of course Sam Mother Fuckin Jackson.

I will attend a midnight showing of this movie should one be available.

The Avengers Trailer

Friday, May 11

The Dictator

SACHA-BARON-COHEN-THE-DICTATOR

Sacha Baron Cohen as The Dictator

Sasha Baron Cohen as a Qadafi-esque Arab dictator who shoots people randomly while winning a 100 meter dash in 50 meters. Love everything this guy does, particularly when he gets really really insulting. Some people who know me might be surprised I’d be looking forward to a movie ‘making fun’ of arabs, but seriously Arab Dictators need to be made fun of. Plus if you can’t have a sense of humor about yourself, then your’e dead inside. I’ve seen my family all in a room arguing loudly in 3 languages simultaneously. They’re great people, but we have alot of things that deserve to be made fun of.

The Dictator Trailer

Friday, May 18

Battleship

No not really. Did they really make a movie based on the board game Battleship and have it be against Aliens? I’m tempted to go watch it to see if someone says “G5″ or something like that at some point. Otherwise pass.

Battleship Trailer

Friday, May 25

Men in Black III

Will Smith returns. I gotta admit I’m not THRILLED for this one, but I’d like to see it. The second one was pretty blah in my opinion. It just didn’t do it for me. The first movie was so insular and well done, the second one felt tacked on. This one already feels tacked on the tacking on, but I’ll give it a shot because Smith is a heck of an entertainer.

Men in Black III Trailer

Friday, June 8

Prometheus

Prometheus with Charlize Theron and Idris Elba

Charlize Theron and Idris Elba in Prometheus

The prequel to the Alien series… Does that make it the sequel to the Predator series? I don’t care. It’s Ridley Scott returning to Sci-Fi which he is so freaking masterful at. Plus it has Charlize Theron in it. And Aliens. And spaceships. Don’t get me started on how much i love starship sci-fi, and why so many movies and tv shows are starship sci-fi, but so many books aren’t. Anyway, I’m really excited for this one, and I’m doing my best not to spoil it for myself.

Prometheus Trailers

Friday, June 29

GI Joe: Retaliation

GI Joe Roadblock Action Figure

GI Joe Roadblock Action Figure

Not sure how much I like that they kill the entire GI Joe team at the start of the movie other than apparently Duke, Roadblock, and Lady Jaye, but I can live with it. The first GI Joe movie was surprisingly good. Sure I had nits to pick with it, but on the whole they did a great job. Love seeing more characters enter in, and love the Rock and Bruce Willis. I just hope we get a scene of The Rock showing Roadblocks secondary specialization of being a chef.

GI Joe: Retaliation Trailer

Tuesday, July 3

The Amazing Spider-Man

I’m torn. I’ve honestly not particularly enjoyed the Spider-mans that have been put out there so far. The first one was good because.. well because it was finally a marvel hero on screen. But they changed stuff like the organic shooters that took away Peter Parker’s brilliance. They graduated him from High School by the second reel. I mean come on. At least leave him in High School for a whole movie or two. Hell by the third movie he was graduated from college? And don’t get me started on the third one. Spider-man 2 was definitely the best and I love Doc Ock in it and a number of the scenes. But really I kind of wish that Sony or whoever it is would stop making Spider-man films so the rights would go back to Marvel Studios whom I bet would do a better job. I want a Spider-man Fantastic Four crossover… but won’t happen as long as different studios have the films. Anyway from what I’ve seen I’m worried they’re borking this one as well… But I’d be lying if I said I’m not going to go see it.

The Amazing Spider-Man Trailer

Friday, July 20

The Dark Knight Rises

Last but certainly not least is the third Batman movie, partly filmed in my beloved Pittsburgh. I’ll be all over this, even though I generally am not a DC fan. The Batman films have done a pretty damn good job and I really like them. Now give The Flash the same treatment….

The Dark Knight Rises Trailer

Friday, August 3

The Bourne Legacy

Jeremy Renner takes the reigns. I’ve enjoyed him in Mission Impossible 3, and look forward to his Hawkeye. I’ve really enjoyed the Bourne movies for the most part, even though I couldn’t finish the first book. I look forward to the next stage.

Total Recall

I don’t know about this one. I generally am all over Phillip K Dick stories, and I loved the first one but that might be because I love Paul Verhoevens IN YOUR FUCKING FACE directorial style. Plus they’re not even going to Mars in this one apparently. And it’s got Colin Farrell as Quaid.. But also it has Jessica Biel… Who is on my list… so I’m gonna go.

Jessica Biel from GQ Magazine. Hummina

Jessica Biel... Hummina Hummina Hummina.

Anyway that’s that. Sure there are a ton of other movies coming out this year, and probably some good ones, and probably some ones I’ll later wish I had on this list, but that’s it for now. Bring on Summer! I just hope I make it.

The Perfect Political System

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I’ve come up with the perfect political system.

Me. As God-Emperor. Seriously, I could solve all the problems in the world. It’s cool. I’d be benevolent. I’d just make all the decisions. The end.

Ok well, I’m not omniscient, so I’d probably need other people to inform me about issues. What would be best would be to probably get a single person to listen to peoples issues in different regions. They could then bring those issues to me to make decisions on .

But really there are so many people, there’d probably end up being hundreds of these people, and who wants to spend all my time listening to the problems of every podunck corner of the country. Best if those people who listen to the problems all get together and talk amongst themselves about the issues. Decide which ones really are important enough to bring to me to make a decision on.

And really do I need to be making every single decision. Most of them really aren’t all that important. A bridge here, or a bridge there. I probably never even heard of the damn river or lake or whatever. So let’s just let them build the bridges they think are important, and if I have a problem with things I hear I’ll step in.

And honestly all this actually making government happen crap. I don’t want to do that. Do I really need to be sitting in a Department of Energy meeting. So I’ll just hire people to run those departments and then report to me about stuff to make decisions on.

And really, am I that smart? I might overrule the people, but if they REALLY think I’m wrong, shouldn’t they be able to say so? I mean if the vast majority of them unite against me, then hey that’s probably a good thing. It’s what the people want. So no problem. You really don’t like me saying no and the vast majority of you want me to say yes? Groovy. I’ll do it.

Now that I think about it though, do I really want to be sitting in a room all day probably literally all day with barely any time to sleep listening to these representatives, people running the government, trying to figure out what’s important, etc? I mean that sounds like a lot of work, and if I”m god emperor I should really relax more. So I’ll hire a guy to do that job. Find a smart guy or gal to take that job and run things, and if I don’t like stuff then I’ll let them know.

But really you know how can someone do their job harping on them all the time? Daily evaluations? nobody can work like that. So I’ll give them a few years at a time to run things and evaluate their job performance, and then if I don’t like em I can always hire someone else if I can find them.

And let’s be serious, it’s not just me that should be hiring this person, I mean they’re working for everyone. So let’s have everyone have a say in hiring or firing the person running things.

Ok so…. Me. God-Emperor. I get to relax and play video games. The rest of you go out and figure out the problems, report them to representatives, get them to make laws, have the executive run things, if we don’t like the jobs any of them are doing we’ll hire different people in their place on a regular basis.

Oh I forgot one thing. The representatives should take a lifetime vow of poverty and service to the country. It should be their job to help everyone, not themselves. Plus companies and corporations shouldn’t be able to bribe them, or the executive, and once representatives lose their jobs they should either be forbidden from ever making contact with other representatives again, or they should be sent to some tropical paradise island retreat to spend the rest of their lives. I think that’s a fair deal. Serve the public for ten years as a monk in poverty, then get to retire on bora bora. I mean really because if you don’t take the money out of the whole process then everything I laid out as God Emperor wont’ work. People will just take bribes, the wealthy will control the government, and everyone will just do what’s best for themselves rather than what’s best for the people, or even representing what the people want accurately.

So that… And with me, the God-Emperor, drinking beer and playing video games and not having to worry about it. Groovy. Perfect system.

 

West Virginia declined by SEC?

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Word on the street is that West Virginia sent some paperwork as a precursor to application with the SEC. Word on the street is that this was basically WVU asking the SEC if they could apply. Normally schools don’t apply unless they’re going to be accepted, ie they informally and quietly declare their intentions to apply, and if the conference then says “sure apply away” it means they’ve talked internally (maybe only on the phone with each other) and come to the conclusion that they’ll vote yes to the application. The team then applies formally, and usually is accepted in a day or two.

Word on the street is that WVU heard back from the SEC saying not to apply.

Ouch.

I hope the rumored Big-12/Big East merger happens for WVU’s sake. I’d hate to seem them left out of a good conference.

Update** It gets worse for WVU. Apparently they were rejected by BOTH the SEC and ACC. Probably because while they’re a great football school, the university itself is pretty low ranked.

http://www.wvmetronews.com/wvu.cfm?func=displayfullstory&storyid=47954